This man....

Here's another thought this morning.  When Michael was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, it was hard to even think about surgery....He wasn't sick - felt great...but because that big ole KNOT was on his neck, we KNEW cancer was there and we KNEW we had to get it out.  Surgery was not an option.  But this day....THIS day, my heart hurts, my mind is SO tired of the stress of wondering....radiation has been suggested...well, not just suggested, radiation has been forced on us as a must have - but he's not sick....No signs of being sick....and we are forced with doing radiation not knowing for sure if the cancer still remains.  This is such a hard decision - with all the side effects of radiation that we have been told about.  Effects that last a lifetime and even get worse with time.  Lord help us with YOUR wisdom....i pray for writing on the wall...I pray for doors to open for second opinions.  I pray for COMPLETE healing for this precious man i love so much.  Lord hold us tight...i pray.  Help us KNOW Lord....open doors and close doors....mold us and make us YOURS.  I pray that as we travel this scary road we are on, that God we will magnify YOU in every step. 

LORD, we love You so very much!  We trust You have our very best ahead of us.  

I just pray you fill our hearts to overflowing with Your Holy Spirit!

Cold weather is my thing....

I have decided that i am definitely a cold weather person.  I find myself in the morning searching for the coffee mug from Colorado or Canada just to savor a hint of the memories of our trips there.  Love the beach and the waves and the water....sunsets and sunrises reflecting on the ocean water - but give me the mountains and the snow and the brisk air and the Christmas trees and the smokey breaths any day of the week.  LOVED our recent trip to Canada.  Will post about it soon - but this morning, as i hunted for the mug with memories - thought about our trip and decided for a fact....

i LOVE the mountains!

Thank you Lord for the sweet trip and the beauty you created in Canada.  

Celebrating Avery Grace...

On August 29th, 2015 we gathered at our house to celebrate the birthday of a very special little girl....

Our little family was small yesterday - missing Haley and Audrey, but we sure did have a good time celebrating 12 years of wonderful!  The girls swam...and played with the "big boat" in the pool....even with the big boat though, Hayden didn't want one toe to set foot in that water!

We had all of Avery's favorites - mac and cheese, brisket quesadillas (thank you Chase for putting them all together for us

and everyone's favorite, Chocolate Eclair Cake!  Avery told me at least three times during the day "Mimi, thank you for making all my favorites....and thank you for making my birthday the best ever" - such a sweet and thankful heart this one has.  So proud of our Avery Grace!

Her gifts were mostly ones for her room....a mirror, a piggy bank

that she wanted from Z Gallery, an exercise ball that she wanted to use as a seat for her desk (in her new room....absolutely love their new home and Shawn was sure to get Avery's room finished first.  It's adorable and so "Avery" - she truly has a style of her own.....creative and unique....and totally "artsy"!  We also got her a game that most of us played during the afternoon....it was a FUN birthday.

Hayden helped with opening most of the gifts (Avery was so sweet to let him do that)...he just LOVES opening presents....even if they are for "DIRLS"!

Lord, i thank You for this day with most of our family.....and i thank You for the gift of Avery Grace in all of our lives.  She has the most precious heart....she's creative beyond compare...she's sensitive to the needs and feelings of others (and sometimes overly sensitive, just like her mimi has always been.  It's a gift and a curse....sometimes feelings are so hurt when they shouldn't be....but wouldn't trade our sensitivity for anything because it allows us both a sense of compassion and empathy), her sense of humor is off the charts - finding humor in the most everyday situations and things....she's beautiful....brown eyes, beautiful wavy brown hair and so many angel kisses on her nose and cheeks you can't count them!  She's tiny in stature....but she's BIG on personality....her heart Lord is moldable and i pray so hard that You will write your name on this precious one's heart....that Your hands will guide every step of all the journey's in her life, that she will have a long and beautiful life ahead of her with YOU Lord Jesus as the center of it all.  I pray Your protection over her - Your Holy Spirit filling her - and Your Joy running over the edges of her heart.  Lord i pray Blessings on our Avery Grace....Thank You for the sweetest little gift we have in Avery Grace Corley.  

Hayden Michael and Haley Elizabeth

This sweet one....and a memory from July 2015.  We kept Haley and Hayden for a few days while the kids went to Mexico for a little vacation.  As always with Hayden, we had "sleepovers" - He sleeps in his "ider-man" sleeping bag (and lots and lots of pillows and blankets) and i tough it out on the couch beside him in the media room....sweet times with my little man.  This trip Haley opted for the bedroom (her usual spot is one of the couches in the media room too, but i guess she wanted some peace and quiet).  Whenever Hayden comes for "Camp Mimi" - i have his sleeping bag on the couch and there's always a surprise hidden there.  Ever since he was so so tiny, he's learned, as he walks in that door, to stand on his tippy toes and look for his surprise.  This time i tricked him.  I didn't put it there. We walk into the media room and immediately his eyes go to the couch - he looked at me with this surprised look on his face - i told him "Hayden, this time Mimi made it hard for you - you must FIND your buried treasure!" - Oh the surprise on his little face....he starts running every which way looking for his prize.  After a few "hints" - he finds it and oh is he happy!  i so love this tradition with my little man.  I think he loves it too.  Another tradition with Hayden are his lunches - well, it's turned into every meal =)  One day when he was staying with us for Camp Mimi - it was a time when they were having trouble getting him to eat (i am not sure this boy is a Corley - my boys wanted to forego the Happy Meals at 3 years of age just so they could have a BIG burger! - never had this problem with Shawn and Chase! - oh, and Hayden has passed that stage now....he LOVES yummy food now) so in an effort to help his appetite, i made "super power" sandwiches.  I got really soft bread and with a cookie cutter i was able to make cute little sandwiches for him.  And guess what?  He LOVED them - he gobbled them up!  Even yesterday when they came to celebrate Avery's birthday - we were having brisket tacos but he wanted a sandwich.  I didn't have bread so i asked him "How about a quesadilla - it will be so yummy" - "mimi, can you make me a super power one?" - so what did i do?  I got the cookie cutters out and made cut outs with the flour tortilla.  i so love these sweet traditions with my Hayden.....

Another memory when we kept the kids in July - Little man is at the age now where he watches movies....all the way through.  One night, Haley, Hayden and i watched "night at the museum" for the first time and he LOVED it.  His favorite part was when the monkey peed on Ben Stiller.  He wanted me to play that part over and over and he would giggle and giggle.  The next morning, he asks "Mimi, can we watch that show where the dinosaur comes alive and the monkey pees on the man?" - so all over again we watch the movie and he just giggles even more.  We have had a pretty free time his entire visit with little TV or "i-paid" as he calls it,

so he asks for another movie.  I thought of seeing about one of the other Nights at the museum but couldn't find one - but i come across the "never ending story" - i read the synopsis and decide it sounds like a good one....so i turn it on....it's a little slow at first and Hayden says "Mimi, when does it start happening?" - so i fast forward....and get to the action part.  It's about a little boy reading this book and he BECOMES the main character.  He's riding this horse through the desert, through the mountains....and THEN he comes to the "Swamp of Sorrow" - it's dark and scary - the music changes....Hayden is sitting in the chair closest to the TV and his eyes are as big as saucers.  His eyes are riveted on that RV screen.  The boy has to get off his horse and he's telling the horse "Don't let the sadness overtake you - if you do, you will sink into the mire - fight it with all you have" - they come to this scary monster in the vines - his eyes light up green and the growls really loud.....Hayden RUNS to the middle of the room, turning circles and screaming "Don't turn it off Mimi!!!  Don't turn it off!!" - He runs and hides behind my chair and peeks over the top "Don't turn it off Mimi!!!" - oh my goodness, i was laughing inside.  He was scared out of his wits, but he didn't want me to turn it off.  He wanted to see what happened next!  Well, i think i scarred him for life....the next scene, the horse starts sinking....he's letting the sadness overtake him - and the little boy is shouting at him "noooooo, fight it!!" and Hayden is yelling "NOOOOOO, fight the sadness!!" - i have never seen this movie before, but dad gum it, the horse SINKS into the mire!  Hayden is now yelling at me "Turn this off Mimi....who wants to watch this?  The horse is in the mire....Mimi, turn it off!!!" Before i can get the control and turn it off, the scene switches to the current little boy reading the book and he's just bawling.....and Hayden yells "See Mimi....he's TRYING (he can't say his c's) - turn it off!!" - so we turn off the movie and i am thinking oh my gosh, i have ruined this little one.....fast thinking - altho i have never seen the movie, i tell Hayden...."i know that was SO sad - but sometimes sadness CAN bring us down - but Hayden, you know what happened next?"  Huge saucer eyes - "what Mimi?"  I tell him "the little boy loved his horse SO very much and the love in his heart brought the horse back up out of the mire and they road out of that swamp of sadness together - LOVE overcame sadness Hayden" - well, he was better after that but he said "i never ever want to see dat movie ADIN!"  As i was retelling the story to Michael, it made me think of our situation.....we can't let the swamp of cancer overtake us.....we have to fight it with all we have....with all God's strength....or we could sink in the mire too!

SWEET times with my little man....and i also had the SWEETEST time with Hayhay.  Papa played with Hayden and let us go for a shopping day on the square.  We were able to get Haley a few things for college....and then at night, after Hayden fell asleep, we would watch movies together....i couldn't believe she hadn't seen "You've got Mail" or "While you were Sleeping" or "Sleepless in Seattle" - we had so much fun watching those love stories....we had long talks about college, the future, our faith....the "boy" - oh how i love our precious Haley.  She's truly such a gift in our lives!.

Time with these two....sweet memories.  We are so blessed with 5 wonderful grandchildren....and having one on one time with them is just priceless.  Thank you Lord for the gift of each one of them....help us live our lives in such a way that they will see You in us....so that they will be drawn to Your mercy and grace and salvation.  Each and every day i pray that You will send people into all of our lives that will help us know You, seek You and love You more and more.  

Write Your Holy Name on their hearts Lord i pray....

41...

41 years ago today.....i woke up with severe back pain......9 months pregnant (first pregnancy) and oblivious - sent Michael on to work not thinking my BACK would hurt if i was in labor....nooooo, it would be this huge bulge in the front that would be tightening!  About 10:30, i called my mom.  She suggested i come to their house - and that i call Michael to come back home.  She's thinking this is labor.  She was right!  The night before this - we were on 3rd row at an America concert - i waddled into the concert hall and worried most of the time that the loud music might disturb my sweet baby snuggled safely under my heart.  He danced around all during the concert.....i kinda think he loved "America" - especially "A horse with no name".  Back to Friday morning.....drove myself to mom and dad's and she had me in the recliner and began to time the back aches.  Sure enough, they were coming about every 5 minutes.  After a call to the doctor's office - and it was my doctor's day off.....hated that - wanted Dr. Griffin to deliver Shawn- we were told to head to the hospital.  To my surprise, Dr. Griffin got the call that i was in labor and he came down - on his day off- to be there and deliver Shawn.  They got me all settled into the labor room.....hooked me up to something that would help the labor along.....only to find it wasn't helping.  I couldn't have an epidural until i dilated to a 5....i was stuck at 3.....and i can tell you.....it HURT.  I remember squeezing Michael's hand so hard with each contraction that HE was hurting.  It was really awful.  I also remember hearing the girl in the room next to me....she was screaming!  That afternoon, Dr. Griffin ordered an X-ray - he couldn't understand why things weren't moving along.  He came back in and told us - this is a BIG baby!  That is why things aren't going as planned.  FINALLY, early evening, i finally got to a 5 - never could i imagine i would BEG for a long needle to puncture my spine, but i DID.  And oh my goodness.....it was like heaven.  No more pains......RELIEF.  At some point i caught a glimpse of me in a mirror.  DARK circles under my eyes.....not a pretty sight!  That evening, about 9 or so, they got me to the delivery room.  They put a mask over my face and assured me everything would be okay and with that, i was out.  I can still remember the coldness of that room....how bright the lights were....how excited and scared emotions ran through me at the same time.  I was going to get to meet my sweet baby finally!  When i woke up, i remember they held Shawn up - but it was from a long distance away.  They were whisking him off for a bath and taking me into recovery.  It took Dr. Griffin an hour to deliver Shawn.....10 pounds, 7 ounces - born at 10:13.  Michael said he will never forget seeing Shawn in the bed they put him in - that he FILLED the bed - and stuck his feet up and out and that his toes were "stretching" - i guess he  had been cramped inside me for so long - it must have felt SO good to stretch!  Black hair - lots of it - fattest little face - eyes squeezed tight because your cheeks were so big....cutest baby boy and the size of a 5 month old!  I didn't get to hold him that night =(  The next morning, i remember being on the phone with my boss at work - telling them about Shawn's birthday.  In comes a nurse with the sweetest little bundle - i quickly hang up the phone and take the precious gift in my arms for the first time.  Oh my goodness, looking down at this child of ours....and then the girl in the room next to me says "i think that's my little girl" - Well sure enough....the nurse grabs the bundle from me - i will add the little FIVE POUND bundle i was holding - and hands her to my roommate.  She leaves the room and in she walks with my 10 pound 7 oz baby boy.   OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!  I grab my son and hold him tight to my chest.....he brings that little head up and looks me straight in the eye.....Hello momma.....Hello sweet joy of our lives.  From that moment on.....our lives were changed forever.  As i have always said, we were children raising children!  I hadn't the slightest clue what i was doing as a mom.  SO many things we messed up through the years.....but i will tell you one thing i know for certain.....  We did MANY things right -   Because that baby boy grew up to be a precious man....wonderful daddy....sweet son.  We have been through roller coasters of emotions as life played out before us.....but what a SWEET gift you are to us Shawn.  We are SO very proud of you.  Through daddy's bout with cancer, the hospital, recovery, you have been there at every turn for us.....taking such good care of us.  You are such an awesome daddy.....the relationship you have with Avery is so precious.....she's blessed to have a daddy that loves her beyond measure.  Your career has just grown and grown and your creativity continues to amaze us.  We have seen you through so many stages of your life...Through greatest joys and deepest sorrows, and we have watched your heart soften and grow so much in the past few years.  We pray each day for God to mold you and make you HIS.....and we are so thankful to see HIS work in your life!  We love you Shawn Michael Corley.....so very much.  We are so thankful to be your mom and dad.  You are our first little gift God sent us.  Thank you for loving us and caring for us the way you do.  Happy Birthday Shawn.....we pray every single day for God to send His richest blessings on your life, on Avery's life.....we can't wait to see the gifts He has ahead for you both.  Love you with ALL of my heart....momma.

Roller Coasters

Here's my update i sent out today:

Welcome to our roller coaster……

This morning Michael has his pet scan…..he had the first one - radiologist saw something above his bladder - doctor wanted more scans so he had two.  We haven’t a clue what this is….something new. Please lift up prayers that it’s nothing…..or that if it is, radioactive iodine went straight to it and killed every bad cell.  

Today, it is my assumption that the scan lit up everywhere the iodine went…..this is a new place….we didn’t know about before.  

Thank you for prayers.  WE know that God is in control….He’s got this.  We just were so hoping for closure.  It’s been three months yesterday that we have been dealing with this and we thought we saw the light at the end of the tunnel.  Please pray with us that Michael will be completely healed from this dreaded disease.

Love you guys so much.  Thank you for loving us….for praying with us.  It truly does mean the world to us.  We claim Jeremiah 29:11.  God’s got this!

That was my email.....this knocked the wind out of me.  Now there's a place above his bladder.  God help me lay this at your feet and not worry.  I don't know what in the world i think i can do about it....and do i really want to be in control?  No God, i want YOUR will in our lives.  Help me TRUST You Lord.  You Lord know how much i love Michael.....You know he is the other half of me.....this storm has raged now for 3 months, and i realize i am whining....it's NOTHING compared to what YOU went through on the cross.....But oh My sweet Lord in Heaven....i lift THIS request up to You right now Lord Jesus....i pray SO hard that this glitch isn't something serious.  I pray Lord Jesus that Michael will be COMPLETELY healed Lord....cancer FREE Lord Jesus.  And i pray that he will be able to enjoy the golden years of his life....with me by his side....and that we can magnify You in all that we do and say.  Lord please heal my Michael....and i know he's not truly mine....He belongs to YOU Jesus.  I love him so very much and i pray Your mercy and grace in this storm Lord....i pray for lives to be changed because of this storm....i pray for complete healing for him Lord and i lay that desire of my heart right at your feet.  EASE my fear Lord....HELP me trust You Lord. Take my worry and throw it as far as the east to the west Lord Jesus.  

Thank you for loving me in spite of all my sin....all my fears.....You know my heart, inside and out Lord Jesus.  I pray sweet Lord, that You will fill my heart with Your Holy Spirit and that MY life....our lives together....will reflect You.  

I love you Lord.  Thank you Lord - even in the storm.  Thank you.  

Friends

This is the song that i heard on the way home yesterday that brought me to tears….i pictured the waiting room….i pictured the living room full of hands being held and praying….…you guys have been this for me…..

"You've Got A Friend"

When you're down in troubles
And you need some love and care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon i will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there
Yes I will
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend

When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You’ve got a friend

God blessed me SO sweetly when he gave me each of you.  I don’t know how we would have made it through without God’s sweet love shown through you guys….and your husbands.  Thank you for loving us like you do.  KNOW that we love you beyond all measure.