December 20, 2009 Today was our Christmas Day. My family, that i love and adore, gathered together in our home last night for Christmas Eve. I was given so many sweet gifts today, but i think the one i cherish the most is just that - my family, all under one roof, waking up on Christmas morning together. There were way too many gifts.....i am not sure it's good for any of us, because our giving was for sure in excess this year. I figured me out though - probably need a little counseling - but i did figure it all out - i give gifts and i search and fret over getting just the right thing....and I think i do it because i want to erase all the hurt with the gifts....i want to erase deceit and divorce and a deadbeat dad that left his family - i want to erase wives that cheat on their husbands......i want to erase the scars of divorce on my boys and my girls - all of them. It doesn't do it though - the gifts are unwrapped, boxes packed up and everyone's gone home - not sure one bit of those hurts were erased by a gift. I just hope and pray that the love in this house, in this room - with the help of our Heavenly Father - can mend and heal. I have to realize i can't buy the scars away.....but i can sure try and love them away! I am so blessed with this precious family - they will never know what they mean to me....never can know how much i love them - I am blessed beyond measure.

I was reminded too this day, as i lit the candles in my mom's candle holders that she has had for as long as i can remember.....How very much i miss our parents. Oh how momma loved this time of year! I can still remember as a child - in my bed, waiting for sleep to come - the lights outside my window burning green and red - and i can hear my parents and their friends singing Christmas hymns - momma playing the piano, daddy with his deep voice booming....oh how safe and secure i felt. How much love was in that house.....and i know now that there probably weren't very many gifts around that tree - not at all like we had today - but the love - the sweetness.....oh my, how blessed. I felt like the richest child on earth. And i was =)

And I am =)

I miss you more than i can say momma and daddy. I know your Christmas in heaven can't even be described....Michael's mom's first Christmas with you guys. All four are loved and missed so much. Big hugs to each of you. Love you with all of my heart!

Thankful.....sent to Angie on 9-11

On the way to work this morning, i heard the song by Maroon Five - don't know the actual name of it....i think it's "She will be loved" but the lyrics go:

See the girl with the broken smile,
ask her if she wants to stay a while -
and she will be loved....she will be loved.

another part says "i want to make you feel beautiful....."

Well, you know how certain songs are linked with certain memories and you just can't get them out of your head? Or your heart? Like Somewhere over the rainbow....
every single solitary time i hear the first notes of that song, a smile comes across my face and memories just flood....i re-live the engagement party every time i hear that song....that moment will always be embedded in my mind, in my heart..... and it just makes my heart SMILE so big....

Well, that maroon five song makes me oh so sad.....it hurts everytime i hear it and this morning, i was trying to turn that around....

One day, right after the break-up - and it was at a time when Chase was just devastated and i was so worried about him - so worried about Addylou.....we got Addy for a day or a weekend....i can't even remember what the occasion was - but we were in the car after picking her up - just me and papa and Addylou. Shawn got her a keyboard for Christmas i think it was and she had that keyboard in the car with her. I remember she was dressed in pink - and i am crying right now just remembering....back then she didn't smile much - she was very very quiet.....and she was scared and sad and it was written all over her little spirit. So here was this little, was she 3 then or 4 - i can't remember....but here's this precious little angel, sitting in her little carseat....so broken, so sad..... and she keeps hitting the button on that keyboard and those words come out...over and over again......."see the girl with the broken smile - ask her if she wants to stay a while - and she will be loved....she will be loved." It breaks my heart. I am sitting here at my desk just crying.....those words make me feel what Addison was going through....makes me feel what Chase was going through....it makes me remember the heartache, the loss....the fear, the insecurity....

BUT......

Then came along a precious angel named Angie.....and Addison IS so very loved.  Her little heart has turned around and oh what a happy child she is!  Thank you, Angie, for the difference you have made in their lives....in our lives.....for mending our hearts together even stronger than we ever thought they could be. I love you sweet girl!

Heard a song today on my afternoon walk.....my take:

Michael, How long do you want to be loved?

Is forever enough, is forever enough?

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough

Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As long as you travel in this troubled world -

is forever enough? Is forever enough?

As long as you travel in this troubled world,

You'll be loved forever by this blue-eyed girl -

yes, loved forever by this blue-eyed girl.

Love you Michael Lane Corley

The Beginning.....

Mother's Day 2009

This mom had a wonderful day today.  How blessed I am to have this precious family of mine.  My boys are so precious to me and now I have a wonderful daughter too!  Add 4 sweet granddaughters to the mix and that's a true blessing!  We met Angie, Chase, Shawn, Audrey and Haley for lunch at Papasito's.  We had the best time together.  This evening we took mema her gift and spent the evening with her at the rehab center.  She's doing much better and should get to go home soon - maybe this Friday!  Thank you Lord for this sweet family.  Please bless us and keep us safe and in your care.  Watch over my family in Arkansas, Kansas, Decatur, and all over.  Thank you for your Love and Care for each one of us!

Please give that precious momma of mine a hug for me and tell her how very much I miss her!