Stormy days….

 It all started as i left with my friend Suzanne to do Meals on Wheels.....and the rain had already started - torrential downpours.....and the wind was awful - she picked me up so i stood under the portico and opened my little umbrella to make a mad dash to her car - JUST as i got out of the shelter of the portico the wind came and blew the umbrella up in the wrong direction.....i got soaked.  We had decided to go by Nothing But Bundt Cakes and get little cakes to take all the mother's on our route.....Suzanne had a lunch date with out of town family, so i offered to get out at all the stops so she could stay relatively nice looking for her lunch date.....rain poured on me again as i entered the store.....we know the owners because they are the ones that bought our house in Heath, so we hugged.....i explained to her what i needed and a customer there in the store with us overheard me and offered to pay for all the cakes - random acts of kindness just blow me away sometimes - she explained that she was a nurse and her heart was for the elderly......she worked with home health care and with hospice and she dearly loves the elderly - so wet me hugged her big and thanked her and headed out the door with my box of cakes.  I bought little clear plastic sacks and i made Happy Mother's Day tags for them and our plan was as i went in to deliver the meals, Suzanne would assemble the gifts in the car......sooooo off we go....let me say here too, you must imagine the picture of me here....i honestly look like someone turned a hose on me - and my hair....oh my hair.....it curls up like crazy when it gets wet and it's NOT attractive!  At this point tho, my hair is plastered to my head.....anyway, as we go along our route and stop to deliver our meals, the rain just is coming down in sheets and also the thunder and lightening.....really concerned me because it was CLOSE.....We saw lightening strikes that seemed RIGHT in front of us and going all the way to the ground.....LOUD thunder.....and then there was the rushing water in all the gullies and people's yards looked like lakes.....so when we would get to a home, i would literally run....gave up the umbrella because it didn't help at all.....just RAN with meals and gifts in tow.  Then as we are going down this one country road to Mr. Lacy's house, we look ahead and in the middle of the road there's a tiny little black dog headed down the center of the road.  As we approach, she turns and starts heading for our car.  Suzanne stops the car and tells me "Oh Cindy, open the door and get that baby" - so i open the door and here she comes....she has no qualms about getting in the car but as i get her in my lap.....she's shaking like crazy.....she immediately puts her nose in the crook of my arm and hides.  So now, not only am i wet....not only is my hair plastered to my head....but now i smell like wet dog =)   We continue on our route, the little dog shivering in my lap - every once in a while she starts panting like crazy.....When i get out to deliver Mr. Lacy's meal i put her in my seat....when i come back, the wet dog is sitting in the impeccably dressed Suzanne's lap - Suzanne tells me that as soon as i got out of the car, the dog JUMPED across the seat into her lap.  Now we both smell like wet dog.  We finish our route and we are headed home....Suzanne has already decided she will take the dog home, give her a bath and then when the rain stops we will go back and put up signs....it's obvious, altho no collar, that this dog is loved and well taken care of......she's older....gray hair around her mussel and neck and she's got quite the fat tummy....somebody loves this little one.  So here we are.....driving back to Rockwall....me drenched - hair now curling every which way - the wet smell of dog filling the car - oh yes, i can't forget as i look down at my arms, i look like an ape....both arms COVERED in short black hairs.....this little dog likes to share her coat =)  - Suzanne who has a lunch date in an hour ALSO looking ape-ish - anyway we are driving along with the shivering dog in my lap and all of a sudden we look at one another and almost at the same time - "oh my, WHAT is that smell?" - i cringe and say "oh Suzanne....did she poop on me?"  The most horrible smell ever permeated the car - we both start laughing so hard that tears are rolling down our cheeks.  Suzanne can hardly drive she's laughing so hard.  I gently lift the dog's butt so she can peek underneath....."no she say's....the storm has just scared the gas out of her!".  So Suzanne takes the little dog home.....she never quit shivering in the car - we think that the storm just scared her so much - that, plus being lost.....tail was tucked way between her legs the entire trip.  Suz got her home, bathed her and dried her off....she said she put that dog down and the tail came up and wagged like crazy.  She said that little dog has made her self right comfortable - slept in the bed with she and Patrick and their little dog Annie last night.  We are going today to put up signs around where we found her.  We KNOW somebody is missing her.  Suz said she's SO lovable.  I told her she better find that owner or she would be in love and hard to say goodbye!  

Such a sweet day with my friend Suzanne…..thank you Lord for the gift of Suzanne in my life.  She's truly a gift.  She's the one i can be myself with….totally, honestly, and never feel i am being judged or scrutinized - she's such a gem - with a heart as big as Texas!  

p.s. on time with little man

a couple of things i forgot regarding Hayden and the last sleepover……We were headed to the bathroom to brush teeth, get pi's on and he looks over at the table where the "tooties" are sitting and he says "sometimes momma let's me have tooties before i go to bed…..sometimes she even MAKES the tooties!

And then as we are playing with his toys "my momma doesn't like bad guys"

I love to hear him play…..he makes his voice go up high and then down low as he moves his spiderman and batman and super heroes around.

His little program for the end of the school year was last week.  It was the sweetest thing ever…..this one song they sang…..said something like "With all my heart i love you" - and as Hayden sang this song, his entire demeanor changed…..he sang so loud - from the bottom of his heart "with all my heart i YUV you" - Angie and i cried like babies through the entire thing.  I think i saw papas tummy going up and down too just a little…..thats what happens when he gets emotional and tries not to cry.

Super sweet times with a precious little boy!

Easter 2014

Family time……sweet time…..

Love this precious family…..missing Audrey.

Sleepover with Little Man

Sooooo, we had a sleep-over with our little man.  This past weekend was Chase and Angie's 5th anniversary….so Friday we met Angie 1/2 way and picked up our little man.  I love that on Thursday he didn't want to go to school…..he just wanted to go to Mimi and Papa's house.  Oh how i love that he loves spending time with us.  Every time he has a sleepover, i put his spiderman sleeping bag on the love seat in the media room - and i always put a new toy on it.  He's never mentioned it before…..but i noticed this time, as he walked in the back door, he walked on his tippy toes to see over the sofa…..he got the biggest grin on his face and of course, ran to the toy.  Later on….might have even been the next day, he was playing and just in passing he said "Mimi, thank you for my toy.  When i come to see you, you always have a surprise for me" - i said "oh Hayden, i wonder why

Mimi does that?" and he cut those eyes at me and said "because you YUV me" - oh yes, baby boy……Mimi sure does love you!  Okay, so many things to say to us….On the way home, he's showing me how to draw an "H" in the air…..then he tells me he's drawing a tootie toot…..I asked what that was and he said it was potty talk….i said "oh Hayden, we don't say potty talk and he said "no Mimi…..no no….I am just showing you how to draw it" =)  I am just typing things as i remember them…..don't want to forget….The last dinner we had here, Hayden said the prayer….in the prayer he said "thank you for my Mimi getting me chocolate tooties"  Okay, so the SWEETEST thing…..Hayden was in playing the piano - He pounded REALLY hard on the low notes….and then he played so softly on the higher notes…..i was cooking breakfast and rushed in to tell him that we had to play soft on the piano - and he said "but Mimi, the really YOWD part is when the soldier put Jesus on the tross" - and then, he played ever so softly the highest notes and he said "and this part…..is when he died for us" - oh my goodness, i just melted BIG time….huge tears coming down my cheeks.  I love that he thinks so often about what he's learned in Mother's Day Out.  Okay, soooooo we are looking for something we have recorded on TV that he wants to watch…..Hayden"  I don't watch Tinja Nurtles - i just watched that when i was growing up" =).  Then this….
Me: "Hayden, when we get home we will have to take a little "rest" since we got up so early this morning"  Hayden: "But when momma says we take a yiddle rest she makes it really YONG rest….and YONG rests make my tummy hurt…..And bedtime makes my tummy hurt too!"
Oh so many things….wish i could bottle them up and keep them forever.  This little man has my heart…..i am wrapped, lock stock and barrel……and it's okay!  LOVE spending time with my little man.  p.s.  While we laid on the floor in the media room - among the many quilts and pillows and blankets and a spiderman sleeping bag…..this little one HELD my hand.  How sweet is that?  How precious is this little boy?

Easter...

Easter Day…..looking forward to a wonderful day with my sweet family.  Today on Facebook, someone posted these words: HE LIVES, HE LIVES CHRIST JESUS LIVES TODAY…..those words took me back…..i can remember when i was a little girl….probably Hayden's age - and sitting between my momma and daddy and the words to that song coming loud and clear from both of them.  My daddy's booming bass voice, and my momma's sweet voice - and with tears running down her cheeks:  I SERVE A RISEN SAVIOR, HE IN THE WORLD TODAY…..I KNOW THAT HE IS LIVING, NOT MATTER WHAT MEN MAY SAY.  I HEAR HIS VOICE OF MERCY, I HEAR HIS VOICE OF CHEER…..AND JUST THE TIME I NEED HIM, HE'S ALWAYS NEAR.  HE LIVES, HE YIVS (AS HAYDEN WOULD SAY) SALVATION TO IMPART…..YOU ASK ME HOW I KNOW HE LIVES…..HE LIVES WITHIN MY HEART!"  Those might not be the exact words…..but they are pretty close.  How thankful i am that God put me in the arms of those two precious souls because they led me to know and love my Lord and Savior!  I thought about today…..and what it was like a few years ago…..momma would have made her famous Rudy's reds…..daddy would have had that camera around his neck and would be taking pictures with that big grin and one eye closed…..pepaw Corley would have been flirting with all the girls…..and me maw Corley….oh me maw - she would have prepared something for the boys to read…..a scripture or a verse….or a poem or often something she herself put together - and the lines would be written over and over - the letters traced many times as she read it and praised as she did so.  As we would gather round and hold hands together to say the prayer…..the boys would hold hands and giggle….it never failed.  I hope me maw Corley didn't think they were being blasphemous - they just couldn't help it….and if my daddy was the one to say the prayer, that voice would break as he got to the end…..tender was his heart.
I am so thankful for my family Lord…..and as some celebrate you in heaven, we celebrate You here…..and we celebrate because YOU, dear precious Lord are AYIVE in our hearts!

April 17, 2014 - Today Hayden Michael Corley had his Easter party at his school.  Such a fun day from what Angie said…..an Easter Egg Hunt with all of his friends….and this - how precious is this story:

Angie said all the children were gathered on the floor in front of the teacher….she was reading the story of Christ and His resurrection - she sent a picture of Hayden intently listening to the Easter story - all the parents gathered round the room too…..she said at the end of the story, the teacher was asking questions about the story….about pictures in the book and all the children were answering her.  Hayden sat quietly tho….until the end of the story session, when she pointed to the picture at the end of the book…..and asked the question "why do you think all the people are so happy?" - Angie said the room was SO quiet - and all of a sudden Hayden smiles this huge smile and says "cuz Jesus is a-yive!  Hims a-Yive!" Angie immediately melted along with most of the other parents in the room.  The look on his sweet face when he talks about Jesus is just the most precious thing.  I pray Lord Jesus that as he grows, his relationship with you grows as well.  I pray that Hayden will do great and mighty things in YOUR name Lord - and that his life will magnify you and share YOU with others.  Protect and guide him Lord i pray.  

Today was a very different day…..hard for me and even harder for me now.  My oldest son, Shawn, was divorced years ago…..can't remember the exact number of years, isn't that awful?  But at least 4…..maybe more.  Was thinking today that i have never seen my boys more broken than when their wives decided they didn't want to be married anymore.  I was remembering today how Shawn reacted…..how hopeful he was that things would not end in the finality that they did.  I remember when he was doing everything he could to make things work.  I remember when he finally realized it was over.  I remember his anger……the wall he began building.  For at least two years i was not allowed to even mention her name…..he was SO broken, SO hurt……he wouldn't even talk to her.  When they had to make plans for Avery, he would send test messages.  It was awful.  My little Avery Grace……she changed through all of this.  Not the same happy, go-lucky little girl she used to be.  A few years into it tho, things changed……Shawn - gosh, i don't know.  Did he finally make peace?  I am not sure what changed, but i am so glad things did.  Which brings me to today.  Avery had a gymnastics competition today…..we have never been allowed to go because Deb felt uncomfortable with us there….as much as i wanted to see my baby compete, i abided by the rules……i would never want something to upset her and i just felt maybe things would be so strange….would make Avery feel unsettled.  But today Deb was okay with us coming.  As we drove to ASI, i just was almost so sick i could have thrown up.  SO hard for me today……Deb was my best friend.  For all the years of their marriage, we shared it.  Each day…..trips…..hobbies…Shawn….Avery…..daily struggles…..daily joys….honesty…..heartaches….parents…..fears….laughter….....i loved her with all of my heart.  And when they divorced…..as much as i hated her for what she did…..i lost not only a daughter-in-law, but a best friend.  Plus the fact that she totally crushed my son.  What do you do with those feelings?  Over time, i had to give those hatreds, those feelings of total  abuse towards Shawn…..the feelings of just pure HURT and HATRED - i had to give that all to our Lord……He told me….Here Cindy……here's the stone - and if you are free of sin, you go ahead and throw it.  Go ahead and hate.  HE had to help me over my hatred.  It seems now Shawn is okay…..is he in a loving relationship?  No……Do i think he will ever trust again?  I doubt it.  Do i think he's happy?  I am not sure, but he sure puts on a good show.  Will he ever love again?  Can he?  Will he?  Because of what she did to him? Today, as we met Deb - i was blown away by their relationship……i saw a precious friendship…..laughing…..sharing jokes…..sharing inside humor that they always seem to find in every day situations……I think i might have seen a love…..not romantic love….but a love as if best friends…..as i sat next to Deb and talked to her…..oh my gosh, it made me soooo very sad at what could have been.  I could see a sweet couple loving each other….loving their daughter….sharing life.  GOSH i miss the friendship too.  It was just the hardest feelings to deal with.  Shawn seems to have made peace……how can i?  She hurt my babies……she messed up what "could have been" - How do i deal with that Lord?  What do i do with these feelings?  I don't understand why things couldn't have been different.  It hurts…..deep inside it hurts.  My heart breaks for what could have been.